Talking about girls i get reminded of food and talking about tamil girls i get reminded of SASTRA mess food. Okay, this entity, SASTRA mess food, is a blend of variety of delicacies(attempted). The mess is like a multi cuisine restaurant, you get to find dishes which you have hardly heard of or will ever do. A typical visit to mess for dinner is something like this--
The first thing you do is to gather all your dinner buddies, not because you love them and can't eat without them but because it's said that you want your dear ones near you in tough times. So all of your pals are here and you finally decide to take a move inside. On the way to the queue for the meal you hear somebody saying " abey aaj laal chaawal hai". That's it, now its hard to control the group, the next half an hour is spent in praise of SASTRA, Tamil Nadu, South Indian Food and many more things, it goes like this--
A- Kya !@#$%^ hai ye, fir wahi chawal!
B- Abey nai, kal neela tha, aaj laal hai, dekh na.
C- !@##$% !@@ !@
D- Roti bana ke ehsaan kiya hai !@#$%^ ne!
E- Upadhyay !@#$%^&
F- VC ki !@#$%^ !@#
me- arey bus karo yaar, bus 2 saal aur hain( back then i had no idea, that once you come to tamil nadu, you stay related or near for a looong looong time)
G- I can't eat this shit, who all coming to canteen?
Everybody- Me!
And we pick up the only eatable stuff which is banana( one everyday) and head towards canteen, which is slightly better than the mess, slightly. The problem with the mess is not that they serve south indian dishes, the problem is they try to satisfy both the south indians and north indians and eventually make a mess of the mess, like they make chapati which is neither chapati nor dosa nor anything worth eating, they make sambhar, which is neither sambhar nor daal nor anything worth eating, and lots more of the likes. Anyways SASTRA food has done some good, atleast to me. Now, after managing to suvive all those colorful tasteless dishes, i can eat anything, and mind you anything is not figurative!.
Enough of food, lets talk about the people( as they claim to be) you got to confront atleast once during your stay at this college.
Will give you insight one by one,
Honourable Mr. Upadhyaya (DOHA)-- Dean Of Hostel Affairs, this is what he is supposed to be but he is more like DOHTINIA i.e. Dean Of 'How To Irritate North Indians' Affairs, man he loves his job. He is actually from Bihar and for some classified reason has preferred staying in SASTRA and creating havoc among the guys on a regular basis. He happens to be the most popular entity among the guys there and trust me he deserves the hype. He has certain principles in life which are
- All north indian guys are terrorists.
- Girls and guys must not speak.
- If a guy has stayed out of hostel whole night he has pobably gone to a brothel.
- If a guy is found roaming inside the campus late night he is probably looking for a site to plant a bomb and hence should be expelled out of hostel.
many more principles, this guy is man of principles u see.
Honourable Mr Vice Chairman-- He is more like a UFO, though everybody has heard about him but rarely somebody has seen him. There are certain situations when you get to see him like, You have been found indulged in ragging, you have committed the dreadful crime of playing Holi inside the campus or Mr Abul Kalam has come again for some inauguration. He has that aura of mystery around him, not because he is not decipherable but because unless he calls out your name, you are not sure that who is the one he is yelling at! (squint eye).
Honourable Mr DOSA-- Dean Of Student Affairs, Sorry, I never got to know his real name. Though he is not a very young guy but he is always on the move. And this quality of his along with not very clear dialect makes it almost impossible to understand what exactly he is trying to say. But still guys prefer to talk to him when he is on the move, because when is not on move and you have to talk to him then you got to stand in front of him and when you stand in front of him it starts raining! not from the clouds but from his mouth.
to be continued..
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
You Me And SASTRA (continued)...
Thanks for the delightful response guys.
Yea so i was talking about attendance right. Though i was not very fond of coming home all the way from there all the time, but when it was needed i had to. And if one has to take leave in the middle of a term in SASTRA he has to face this creature, who has been given an intensive training on how to irritate shit out of students, better known as the Registrar in that part of the world. If one has to attend a wedding, he has to produce proofs of the wedding and the relation he has with the one getting married, and this is not enough, see how, I had to attend sister's wedding and as required i went with the wedding invitation to the Registrar, this is what happened there
Reg- Hmmm so you have come for leave huh?
me- Yes sir, that's what the application says as well.
Reg- what's your CGPA
me- No Sir, you din't understand, i came for leave, for 20 days, i have to go home
Reg- Tell me your CGPA
me- Sir, 9.3 ( you say anythin less than 9 and your leave becomes shorter by some 10 days)
Reg- (looking at the invitation card)-- Your name appears at the very last of the card, how r u related to this person, seems like you are not that important, i can't give u leave now, come after 10 days!
me(thinking)- Dude! wtf??
me(speaking)- Sir, i am the youngest in the family so my name is at the last.
Reg- No, come after 10 days, your CGPA is too less, you need to work harder.
me(thinking)- What the fuck would he have said if i told i had 7?!
Still dint work and i had to sneak out. So you see how things go real funny over attendance there.
People in places like Haryana and Andhra Pradesh think that they have lesser number of females in their states because girls get killed right after birth, but no it's not like that, the reason they don't have much girls there is, all of them get birth in Tamil Nadu! There are girls everywhere! Grocery store, general store, petrol pump!, auto drivers, and ofcourse SASTRA. In all the classes i ever studied there were more girls than guys, how often does that happen in north?! And the best part is the 'gajra'. On an average if you have 20 girls in your class, 15 of them will sport a gajra on their hair, nice thing, scents the whole classroom, but please thorw the poor thing after some 3 hours, because the scent turns into something quite unbearable then. And 18 out of these 20 girls have scored more
than 98% in their 12th board, so you better keep shut when they are talking about their school marks, more so when you have done miracles in your school like me. Because the expressions you will see on their faces when you tell your marks between a bunch of 98%ilers will be something worse than what Aishwarya Rai will have if i go and tell her that i am in love with her and want to have kids with her! Having lots of girls is not a problem, who doesn't want girls around, but the teachers there for some mysterious reason don't seem to like a guy talking to a girl in person, not that they object it but you get to feel the difference after you are spotted with a girl somewhere in the campus. And the differences are again as funny as the rules. Once my mechanical engineering teacher asked me to erase " Exercise 3" and make it " Exercise III", because she saw me with a girl in the canteen, that too on the same table! that's like the most heinous act!
to be continued...
Yea so i was talking about attendance right. Though i was not very fond of coming home all the way from there all the time, but when it was needed i had to. And if one has to take leave in the middle of a term in SASTRA he has to face this creature, who has been given an intensive training on how to irritate shit out of students, better known as the Registrar in that part of the world. If one has to attend a wedding, he has to produce proofs of the wedding and the relation he has with the one getting married, and this is not enough, see how, I had to attend sister's wedding and as required i went with the wedding invitation to the Registrar, this is what happened there
Reg- Hmmm so you have come for leave huh?
me- Yes sir, that's what the application says as well.
Reg- what's your CGPA
me- No Sir, you din't understand, i came for leave, for 20 days, i have to go home
Reg- Tell me your CGPA
me- Sir, 9.3 ( you say anythin less than 9 and your leave becomes shorter by some 10 days)
Reg- (looking at the invitation card)-- Your name appears at the very last of the card, how r u related to this person, seems like you are not that important, i can't give u leave now, come after 10 days!
me(thinking)- Dude! wtf??
me(speaking)- Sir, i am the youngest in the family so my name is at the last.
Reg- No, come after 10 days, your CGPA is too less, you need to work harder.
me(thinking)- What the fuck would he have said if i told i had 7?!
Still dint work and i had to sneak out. So you see how things go real funny over attendance there.
People in places like Haryana and Andhra Pradesh think that they have lesser number of females in their states because girls get killed right after birth, but no it's not like that, the reason they don't have much girls there is, all of them get birth in Tamil Nadu! There are girls everywhere! Grocery store, general store, petrol pump!, auto drivers, and ofcourse SASTRA. In all the classes i ever studied there were more girls than guys, how often does that happen in north?! And the best part is the 'gajra'. On an average if you have 20 girls in your class, 15 of them will sport a gajra on their hair, nice thing, scents the whole classroom, but please thorw the poor thing after some 3 hours, because the scent turns into something quite unbearable then. And 18 out of these 20 girls have scored more
than 98% in their 12th board, so you better keep shut when they are talking about their school marks, more so when you have done miracles in your school like me. Because the expressions you will see on their faces when you tell your marks between a bunch of 98%ilers will be something worse than what Aishwarya Rai will have if i go and tell her that i am in love with her and want to have kids with her! Having lots of girls is not a problem, who doesn't want girls around, but the teachers there for some mysterious reason don't seem to like a guy talking to a girl in person, not that they object it but you get to feel the difference after you are spotted with a girl somewhere in the campus. And the differences are again as funny as the rules. Once my mechanical engineering teacher asked me to erase " Exercise 3" and make it " Exercise III", because she saw me with a girl in the canteen, that too on the same table! that's like the most heinous act!
to be continued...
Sunday, August 22, 2010
You Me And SASTRA
Somewhere around last week of july 2005 I happened to land on the soil of Tamil nadu.Back then being a north indian basically the picture that used to come to my mind about a southern state was some place with full of coconut trees ( and only coconut trees!) and people with better hold on English language than the species found in the north, and yea, the girls, i don't know how and i don't know why but all i could picture about a typical south indian girl then was "Shakeela" (glad that this presumption was proved wrong later). This picture of a south indian state was changed and quite a bit. Trees, i could find every kind of tree other than coconut, People definitely are sound when it comes to english but the problem is the language they speak is tanglish(tamil+english) which resembles english on various occasions, and believe me this tanglish language is not the easiest of languagaes to decipher. Anyways i should get back, so I am in this place called tamil nadu, and the final destination was the SASTRA University .
Finally reached the university. Though the decision to join SASTRA instead of the college i was offered in the north was mine, but the smile of satisfaction i could see on my dad's face was like he was responsble for this! And there was a reason behind the smile, all you could see when you stand somewhere near the entrance of this university is students coming by bus, offering prayer at the temple and heading towards the canteen for the breakfast and finally towards their respective classes, no girl in a jeans or anything near to a jeans, forget t shirts and stuff( though the conditions were better in the later half of the stay in
that college). Dad could not help and finally said" ye jagah bus tumhare liye hi bani hai, yahan 4 saal agar ruk paye to pakka sudhar jaoge". We were escorted towards the admministrative block where the admission formalities were to be taken care of. And this was the very time when i started to sense that future was bleak for me now, for atleast 4 coming years, and i was not the only one feeling that way. People in that college know only three things ' Rules, Regularity and Rasam'. I will come back to these later. Rules, mind you, are not the rules specified in the constitution or in any other preamble, they have their rules, and you are not
supposed to toy with them, under any circumstances. For instance, the rule is not to wear t-shirts to classes or to any other department inside the college, makes a lot of sense, as t-shirts can go real nuisance at times, but consider this, a guy during the admissions had brought a passport size photograph of himself in which he was wearing a t-shirt, and he was sent back to get another one, beacuse t-shirts are not allowed in SASTRA, "not even in photos". So mostly all the rules are as funnily absurd as this one.
Cattle always walk in herd, watever the first one does, everyone emulates that. And people at SASTRA have taken this very seriously, but have you ever noticed that if the number of cattle is not much they are kind of confused, confused that which way to go, they tend to lose the 'walking-with-the-herd' property of them, and this is wat people at SASTRA have taken even more seriously, so to avoid this confusion the intake of the students in that college is humungous! So that students just walk with the herd, and don't even think about revolting for anything, and it has paid of well. The number of student is so fucking large there that you hardly can find a vacant space in the large ( my whole city wouldn't be of same area i guess) campus. Many guys don't get hostels in the strange land in first year, owing to the large number of students including poor moi. And trust me not getting hostel in the very first year could very well be the worst thing happening in your life, more so when you get an accomodation where eating in its mess is compulsory if you wish to live there. Some of the dishes served there still haunt me in dreams! Anyways, haunting dreams apart, SASTRA is not that bad place to live in, unless and untill you have the minimum needed percentage of attendance in the classes, yea that's another of their 'rules' i talked about earlier, funnily absurd.You got to have 75% of attendance, 'under any circumstances', yea you heard it right, be it a fracture, be it jaundice or be it your real sister's wedding but you have to be in class and take notes and nod for every crap they talk and what not for more than 75% of the classes conducted.
to be continued..
Finally reached the university. Though the decision to join SASTRA instead of the college i was offered in the north was mine, but the smile of satisfaction i could see on my dad's face was like he was responsble for this! And there was a reason behind the smile, all you could see when you stand somewhere near the entrance of this university is students coming by bus, offering prayer at the temple and heading towards the canteen for the breakfast and finally towards their respective classes, no girl in a jeans or anything near to a jeans, forget t shirts and stuff( though the conditions were better in the later half of the stay in
that college). Dad could not help and finally said" ye jagah bus tumhare liye hi bani hai, yahan 4 saal agar ruk paye to pakka sudhar jaoge". We were escorted towards the admministrative block where the admission formalities were to be taken care of. And this was the very time when i started to sense that future was bleak for me now, for atleast 4 coming years, and i was not the only one feeling that way. People in that college know only three things ' Rules, Regularity and Rasam'. I will come back to these later. Rules, mind you, are not the rules specified in the constitution or in any other preamble, they have their rules, and you are not
supposed to toy with them, under any circumstances. For instance, the rule is not to wear t-shirts to classes or to any other department inside the college, makes a lot of sense, as t-shirts can go real nuisance at times, but consider this, a guy during the admissions had brought a passport size photograph of himself in which he was wearing a t-shirt, and he was sent back to get another one, beacuse t-shirts are not allowed in SASTRA, "not even in photos". So mostly all the rules are as funnily absurd as this one.
Cattle always walk in herd, watever the first one does, everyone emulates that. And people at SASTRA have taken this very seriously, but have you ever noticed that if the number of cattle is not much they are kind of confused, confused that which way to go, they tend to lose the 'walking-with-the-herd' property of them, and this is wat people at SASTRA have taken even more seriously, so to avoid this confusion the intake of the students in that college is humungous! So that students just walk with the herd, and don't even think about revolting for anything, and it has paid of well. The number of student is so fucking large there that you hardly can find a vacant space in the large ( my whole city wouldn't be of same area i guess) campus. Many guys don't get hostels in the strange land in first year, owing to the large number of students including poor moi. And trust me not getting hostel in the very first year could very well be the worst thing happening in your life, more so when you get an accomodation where eating in its mess is compulsory if you wish to live there. Some of the dishes served there still haunt me in dreams! Anyways, haunting dreams apart, SASTRA is not that bad place to live in, unless and untill you have the minimum needed percentage of attendance in the classes, yea that's another of their 'rules' i talked about earlier, funnily absurd.You got to have 75% of attendance, 'under any circumstances', yea you heard it right, be it a fracture, be it jaundice or be it your real sister's wedding but you have to be in class and take notes and nod for every crap they talk and what not for more than 75% of the classes conducted.
to be continued..
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Humor and Subconscious mind and Saina Nehwal and all that
Last tuesday i received a call from an unknown number, "is it vishal?" having not paid the bill of the last post paid connection i had, like a normal poor guy i replied "no", he says again "is it vishal, i m standing on gate 3 and have a courier for u, could you please come here" , relieved and amazed( i was expecting a parcel atleast 3 days later as it was sent just yesterday from new delhi) i said ya coming and went on gate 3. Observing that the guy was not too pleased with me denying to be vishal i tried to make things better with help of humor.
" Kya bhaiya aajkal courier bahot jaldi aane laga hai, kal hi to chala tha dilli se" expecting a smile of accomplishment what i got was this " lo kar lo baat! der se aaye to dikkat jaldi aaye to bhi dikkat, aakhir hum log kare kya?!"
So the humor thing dint work well, happens, and lost of times. How important is humor in your life? Well its pretty important for me. Being in the world for quite some time now what i have come to know is some people just can't appreciate humor, irrespective of anything. And its not something like your grades which you can change at your will, they just can't accept it!
Humour is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement, this is what wikipedia says, i tell you its lot more than that. but the major part is played by you, because it just tends to evoke laughter, it's you who has to let it. Tellingly every instance of humor has a hint of absurdity and incongruity, that's the whole idea behind humor, what i wannu say is, if Dhoni had said that he gets encircled by fans on every circle in chennai when the traffic light goes red, you would not have laughed, exceptions being Siddhu, but what he said was "i get caught on every red light area"!! noticed the
absurdity in the statement? well that's what evokes laughter, and if it did not to you, you were the one i was talking about a bit earlier ( people who are just too numb to appreciate humor).
too sleepy now, ll crap later, bubye.
" Kya bhaiya aajkal courier bahot jaldi aane laga hai, kal hi to chala tha dilli se" expecting a smile of accomplishment what i got was this " lo kar lo baat! der se aaye to dikkat jaldi aaye to bhi dikkat, aakhir hum log kare kya?!"
So the humor thing dint work well, happens, and lost of times. How important is humor in your life? Well its pretty important for me. Being in the world for quite some time now what i have come to know is some people just can't appreciate humor, irrespective of anything. And its not something like your grades which you can change at your will, they just can't accept it!
Humour is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement, this is what wikipedia says, i tell you its lot more than that. but the major part is played by you, because it just tends to evoke laughter, it's you who has to let it. Tellingly every instance of humor has a hint of absurdity and incongruity, that's the whole idea behind humor, what i wannu say is, if Dhoni had said that he gets encircled by fans on every circle in chennai when the traffic light goes red, you would not have laughed, exceptions being Siddhu, but what he said was "i get caught on every red light area"!! noticed the
absurdity in the statement? well that's what evokes laughter, and if it did not to you, you were the one i was talking about a bit earlier ( people who are just too numb to appreciate humor).
too sleepy now, ll crap later, bubye.
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